小阿姨

Not to be outdone by her husband, my 小阿姨 can say some kickass cool stuff too:

CERN webcast

Here's an excerpt of what I view as a funny conversation:


friend: so who was that KFC guy on the webcast?
me: what do you mean?
friend: you know, that Colonel Sanders guy?
me: oh, you mean the Director-General of CERN?!

Duzen and Siezen

Well, living in Germany is sure an experience, but there's one thing as a native English speaker that I've never gotten used to: duzen and siezen.....

What do these mean?
Well, duzen means to use "du" to say you (in German), which one typically says to friends, colleagues, kids, dogs, buddies, classmates, basically anything in a social setting.
And siezen means to use "Sie" to say you (in German of course), which one typically says to clientele, service personnel, adult strangers, elders, etc. Basically much more polite, something one would use in a formal or official setting.

The problem is that there are many cases where the line is very fine between "du" and "Sie". In my group we all "duzen" each other - which is good, because it removes the awkwardness and distance that "siezening" someone creates. Except for my boss and the secretary. And also an older professor who "siezens" everyone else.....but that's really strange, especially when everyone's saying the familiar "du" until speaking to this older professor (or my boss and his secretary speak with each other).

Another weird scenario was when we visited some friends, and the mother-in-law of the guy is around 70-80 years old. Her son-in-law told us to just use "du", but when we did so, she "siezened" us back....what should we do? If we continue with "du", we are being impolite, but if we use "Sie" there's an awkward distance created, and as well, its kinda strange to take back "du" and then continue with "Sie".

Textbooks tell us to use "Sie" when in doubt...but using "Sie" when you should use "du" presents a very awkward formal situation that's also weird......maybe I'm too North American, but I really prefer the "du", and perhaps start with "duzen" a bit too quickly.......

But I also think that some Germans need to be a little less uptight about this thing, and just relax and go "duzen" someone! I would say that Germany is the most strict at the "duzen" and "siezen" separation for a European country.

Thank God I don't live in Japan! (How many people would I offend a day?)

Mom and Dad. So silly!

Mom and Dad arrived in California last night.

Dad came into my room, surfed the internet (stocks), read a few reference papers on my  research topic and went to bed ~ 11pm.

Mom came into my room, made Dad eat healthy food, unpacked, almost fellasleep in my bed, gave me money to give to Hsiao-Ah-Yi and Stephanie, put food in the fridge and freezer, talked, showered and finally went to bed ~ 1am.

It's as if I never left Toronto.

And then Dad came into my room at 7am to surf the internet again. Sigh.

Flying Horror Stories

What's this about? They don't even give a seats to airline passengers now?

Article on CBC Website

Man, that is really messed up!

Genius relatives...

I was recently went to a conference and was able to meet up with some of our relatives (who will not be named) who live nearby. One of them is a genius, but I have proof now of how much of a genius he is.

I went to dinner with family on Sunday night and then they were kind enough to drop me off at my hotel. They turned on the GPS to see directions to the hotel, but my genius family member decided to ignore the directions. The entire time. Haha... I think he ignored 4-5 directions, saying that he was able to get back to the hotel. And lo and behold, he got me to my hotel! What a genius!

Name Change

So I was able to get a radio interview, but it was in Mandarin.

You can see the summary here.

The interviewer wrote to me in English and addressed me by my English name, but as the interview was in Mandarin, she got my name wrong (she never really asked me for my Taiwanese name, and I'm not sure where she got the new name from).

Apparently, my name is now:
賴宏吉

Who would've thought?

STUPID NFL TV Rules

Really really stupid....

I watch NFL (and even better, College Football) on the awesome Slingbox that my sister setup, so that I get the TV feed from her local cable. So this Sunday, I had an interest to watch as the early game, Chargers vs. Titans. But of course its a local station in the Bay area, so CBS instead is broadcasting Raiders vs. Packers.

Ok, this is reasonable, but I didn't want to watch 4-8 Raiders being blownout by the 10-2 Packers (38-7). So I would like to watch maybe an NFC game instead...like maybe: Eagles vs. Giants (NFC East traditional rivalry), or Cowboys vs. Lions (playoff implications). But NOOOOO, NFL stupid rules prevent FOX in the Bay area to broadcast something up against the Raiders game on CBS.

For the late game, I'd really like to watch the Steelers play the Patriots, (Go Steelers!), but NOOOO, NFL stupid rules prevent CBS from broadcasting something against the 49ers game (who are 3-9) against the Vikings (6-6).

STUPID STUPID STUPID

Is there any wonder, more people are watching NCAA football instead of the NFL? Hey idiots in the NFL commissioners' office, stop being idiots and let us watch more than a 4-8 or a 3-9 team every single week!

BOOOOOOOOOO! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Laptop for Thought

A couple of device group folks were talking about the "One Laptop Per Child" initiative and someone brought up that Intel decided to organize a similar initiative to compete, called "Classmate PC". Both initiatives are developing cheap but usable laptops to kids in poor countries to help education standards.

Funny that an initiative that has such noble intentions ends up being a competition. Regardless, having both initiatives should in theory help the world out a little more... right?

Anyway, as we were discussing these programs, I was looking around the coffee shop and almost every single person there had a nice laptop (mostly MacBooks, some HPs and some Dells). I encourage everyone to check out the laptops being developed cheaply for these kids. Best of luck to these programs!

More sighs

So, I've been hanging around two people for the last 5 weeks in Germany, let's call them D and M.
Well, today, D and M were heading back to Canada.

Of course their flight was at 1:45pm, so naturally, D wanted to take the 7:57 train to the airport, so that he would arrive at 10:06. (Because taking the 8:57 and arriving at 11:06 is just too rushed).

So the walk (no possibility of traffic jams) to the train station is at most 15 minutes. To catch the train at 7:57, D wakes up at 5:30 and just ends up standing outside in the hallway. Then at 7:15 wants all of us to leave for the train station. We are at the train station by 7:30 (a full 25 minutes before the train is to come), but D still looks nervous that he's going to miss the train.

At which point M says to D, that she cannot stand his uptightness when there is a train to catch....

Sigh....

Put your foot in your mouth...

I was in Portland this past weekend with some friends from undergrad. Of course, one of them has a habit of putting her foot in her mouth, and she did it again.

On Sunday, we had already dropped off someone (M) at the airport. His girlfriend (L) had not yet left. Keep in mind that no one had met L before this weekend. We were hanging out in downtown Portland, when N said: "M has no standards," right in front of M's girlfriend L. Sigh... then N decided to justify her comment by saying that last year, M was checking out any girl that could walk, including a bunch of old 50 year old women.

Good thing L is such a good sport!

Dad: no sense of discreetness

Dad is so weird....

So he drives Betty to the airport and lines up with her to help her with the luggage at the Air Canada check-in in Toronto. Because the flight is to Frankfurt, most of the passengers are German.

Betty asks Dad (in Mandarin), whether Dad thinks that Germans would help her with the two large suitcases she's bringing. And she asks whether anyone helped Dad when he came to Germany last year. Dad replies (in English): "Germans are not very friendly people".

Of course, people around them (most probably other Germans) give them a look!

So weird!

You think that's bad!

So while I'm ranting about German bureaucratic stupidity, here's an even worse example:

At Toronto, when I went on a business trip (let's say Chicago), it was easy. I buy my ticket, keep receipts of relevant expenses, and then submit a claim at the end, with a per diem claim set by the group. One week after my claim, I get reimbursed. Easy, right? Isn't this the way normal people do things?

Nooooooo....in Germany of course, there is love of bureaucracy!

So, now when I go for business somewhere (say Geneva), I have to fill in BEFOREHAND, two travel requests. I have no idea why two are required. I need to detail the reason I'm going, and then the begin and end times of my trip, whether I start/end at the office or at home, and also the start and end times of my official business there (which are different from the begin and end times of my trip!)

Then I have to say how I'm going to get there (train, private vehicle, or plane), then get a signature from my boss, which then gets submitted to the academic director. He signs also both copies, and sends them back to me. (No idea why I need two copies). If its overseas travel (outside of Europe), then the rektor of the university also has to sign.....(you're getting my drift, right?)

So now finally, I go on my business trip, keeping receipts as usual. Then I come back, and report on: when the begin and end times of my trip were, how I got there, whether I start/end the trip at the office or at home, and the start/end times of official business. Didn't I already fill this in? Oh, before the trip, I filled in the PROPOSED information, this is now the ACTUAL information. (Stupid....) If I take a train, I have to specify what time it departed. I also have to write down whether I received any third party honorarium or free meals. For some reason, I need to write down whether I'm married or not.

Because I stay in France (St. Genis) when I go to CERN (Switzerland), I have to also report every time I cross the border. Ridiculous! The per diem depends on which country you spend your time in, and its cheaper in France than in Switzerland. So every single border crossing must be declared (which occurs every day), with the time I crossed.

Finally, if I stay at a hotel that exceeds the nominal amount, I have to ensure that I write down that this was the cheapest option and that breakfast is not included (otherwise, my reimbursement is deducted). Don't forget, I have to write this information down twice, on identical forms....

So when do we get reimbursed? More than two months after the initial trip!

Tell me if that's not stupid bureaucracy or what!!!

Booooooo! Booooooooo!

Stupid German Bureaucracy

So I read on the Canadian Consulate in Stuttgart website that Canadian driver's licences can be exchanged for German driver's licences without having to go through a driving test.

Cool! This is very useful, so I go this morning to change my driver's licence. I know German bureaucracy quite well now, so I make sure I have my documents: my passport, my driver's licence, a letter mailed to me at my address to prove I live there, my work contract, and a passport photo for the licence.

Well, I had almost everything in order, it turns out they need an official translation of my driver's licence!!
How stupid is that?

What do they need to translate?
The words "Date of birth"? Can't they tell by the date underneath it?

Then there's "Cond." which underneath says "Corrective Lenses".
Come on, you're telling me that this isn't self-explanatory?

Well, I guess I have to find a "state-approved" translator to get my driver's licence.
Stupid German bureaucracy....

Booooooo! Booooooooo!

Dad is crazy...

I called my dad before he left for Germany... the conversation went like this:

Me: Hi dad.
Dad: Why did you call?
Me: To talk to you before you leave for Germany.
Dad: Oh. Do you want to talk to your Mom?

Sigh.

Oi!

We were out at Triple Rock for a party Dave organized and I bumped into someone (N) I rarely see. N is with a girl who I thought was a girlfriend that I had met once...

I say, "Hey N! And you must be L."
The girl looks at me and starts laughing.

N says, "No no no no no..."
Then, because I have no problems further embarrassing myself and everyone else around, I say "Oh crap. I am so sorry... I did not mean that. I'm just going to stick my head in the a toilet and flush."

I offer to buy them a drink, but they refuse. Then I just start talking to N, and he says that he and this girl (J) are not really together.

So, to further make myself look stupid (which is getting to be a little to easy for me), I say, "Oh, then I don't feel as bad about that mistake." Then I start talking to J and say, "Oh, I don't feel as bad since you and N aren't together..."

Later on, I find out from N's roommate that N and J might be dating (no one really knows). Once again, boy is my face red....

Coffee anyone?

Today, I went to coffee with three of my groupmates. Three of us ordered normal drinks. SRAM (yes, that's his nickname and his research topic) ordered a "double cappuccino with half decaf" ...

So strange!

Can you pee in public?

I went wakeboarding (think waterskiing, but on a board) with a couple of friends yesterday on a lake near Tracy, CA. Apparently, it's pretty natural for everyone to take their restroom breaks in the lake. I, on the other hand, had the hardest time taking a leak in the lake. We were trying to figure out what my problem. Some think that I just didn't have that sense of urgency, but I assure you, I did!

We believe that I have a psychological block. Here are my hypotheses:

1. I cannot pee when people are watching me.
2. I cannot pee when I have a bathing suit and boardshorts on.
3. I cannot pee unless I'm sitting down.
4. I cannot pee if I'm wet.

I'm open to other suggestions...

Now, I will be creating experiments to test which hypothesis might be correct. I'll be sure to keep everyone posted.

Girlfriends are like baseball teams...

I was getting a ride from someone on my softball team when we got in a discussion about choosing a favourite baseball team. He originally liked the San Francisco Giants and the Oakland A's equally, but since then has decided to root solely for the A's. He was explaining it to me like this:

"Choosing a baseball team is like choosing a girlfriend. When you have two girlfriends, your heart will eventually tell you which one you like better..."

I couldn't have put it better myself!

Have we met before?

I was having lunch with two of my friends, E and L. My friend E met a girl recently named Sarah... This was the conversation we had:

Me: What's with you and Sarahs?
E [to L]: Yeah, I actually dated a girl back in January named Sarah.
Me: Ummm... E, her name was actually Sally.
E: [laughing] Oh yeah! Haha...

Sally must have been really memorable :)